Skater of the Month: Mad Max Swagger

Written by Ferocious Dimples

Number: Fresh 2 DeathMad Max Swagger, SoM

Swagger, Swag, Swaggy, Shwaggy, Mad, Maximus, Swagimus, B, and Crazy Cat Lady are all appropriate titles that our wonderful Mad Max Swagger will answer to. She wears many masks which require many nicknames!

Swag became a part of the HRD family back in 2009. After passing level one in our training camp, she had a slight hold back in level two with an unfortunate ankle break. It didn’t keep her away for long, and after 5 months of healing Swag was back on skates, attacking level 2 with a vengeance. She has been such a positive addition to the team, and a driving force to our organization.

An injury has kept Swag from her skates this season, but has not kept her away from the track. She has stepped up as a level 2 trainer, and as a coach. While she hasn’t officially been voted in as a league coach, she has proven to be an extremely successful bench coach for the Redwood Rollers, and has helped to make our practices run smoothly. Her soft spokeness has dwindled and her loud, hear me roar coaching voice can be heard from across the building! She is a confident coach who has our backs.

This superhero of a woman came to us all the way from the big island of Hawaii. Back in 2004 she put her cape on and flew to Boston to see what a city was like. Not feeling the city life Swagger and her cape found themselves back in Hawaii only three months later. After a few adjustments, Swag had made herself a super cape which brought her to the beautiful Humboldt County in 2005. She has found herself at home in her new land with such wonderful friends, family, and kitties. Some of these details may not be actual real facts, but I’m pretty sure Swag really does have a cape she crafted herself that makes her fly.

Swagger is such a crafty lady that she started her own business, and has been successfully running it by herself since 2008. She does some stylish printing to give your clothes a little extra swagger. If you see a Humboldt derby skater walking around with their shirt or sweatshirt personalized, chances are Swag did it. The skaters also got some flashy new uniforms this season which Swag printed up, and the talk of all the tournaments this year was how awesome they looked. Thanks Swaggy, for keeping your teammates in style!

In her off time Swag enjoys spending hot days at the river with her friends, and is always down for a good float or rafting trip. On cold days she likes to cuddle up with her kitties, Bitten and Chiller aka Dangercat, put on a good movie like Beyond Thunderdome or Gladiator, and watch it rain fuzzy little kittens outside. Swag is a walking dictionary for strange slang and terms that no one else knows about, and will be the first to come up with a sarcastic, witty remark to your comment. She knows how to keep you laughing.

This Hawaiian girl was a natural fit with our community and our organization. Anyone who’s so sweet, mellow, and crafty is always welcome in our league. She has grown as a skater and a leader, and has given her teammates the confidence to follow her into battle. She will lead us in the right direction!

Humboldt Roller Derby loves and appreciates your time, love, and your amazingly wonderful self.

Volunteer of the Month: Raven Maniac


If you want something done, ask Raven. She seems to be everywhere. Because she is. Raven is a powerhouse worker for HRD. Her work ethic has the strength of steel and she’s been known to stay up half the night doing derby work. She comes to us from Mississippi and has carried those genteel manners and with her. She works at Northcoast Children’s Services as a case worker, proving that her heart is not only in the right place but powerful as well.

Raven started with HRD in 2009. She disliked the physical rough and tumble of being a skater, and so took her talents right to officiating.

Once Raven started reffing, she really gave it her all.  She helps run ref practice, always stays current on the latest rules and has gone to the WFTDA officiating clinic three times.  She is on the Ref Training committee and is a WFTDA official ref for Humboldt.   She is very versatile and can do any position; head ref, inside pack ref, jam ref and outside pack ref.  She particularly excels at jam reffing because she is a fast skater and is able to assess impact and initiation with amazing accuracy.

But wearing the stripes isn’t the only thing she does for us. She started working on the Fundraising and Public Relations work groups in 2011. It is no exaggeration that she is The Bomb when it comes to fundraising. No sponsor is too big or too small for her. HRD has experienced high water years since she began this critical task. She has also taken Public Relations by storm, getting the work group right on line with the five year plan we have.

In 2014 she even went a step farther by joining the HRD board of directors. Her dedication and keen mind for details has sharpened the board. She is never too busy to take a look at the latest paperwork, listen to the latest problem, and come up with solutions.

Her sweet southern attitude has brought her to the front of HRD, whether on the track or off. Indeed, she IS everywhere, and we couldn’t get along without her. Thanks Raven!



Skater of the Month: Pressure Cooker

Pressure Cooker #61 first graced HRD with her presence at our bootcamp in 2011.  I would have described her as clunky and awkward, as most of us are when we put skates on for the first time. This woman defines hard photo by Amy Kumler work and dedication, and is proof that it all pays off. She always pushes harder and does not understand giving up. This self proclaimed former band nerd (clearly the marching band is much cooler than portrayed in the media) marched her way off the soccer track and into many other sports  in high school.

Pressur Cooker, “PC” to her teammates,  learned early on how thrilling life can be, and has attacked it with an aggressive “can do” attitude. Dabbling in all kinds of sports PC has found her true love with roller derby. The passion she has for the sport and her teammates seeps through her pores. You may think she’s really sweaty, but really it’s her passion leaking out!

When not on the track PC spends her off time downhill mountain biking, skiing, and any other outdoor adventure that can fulfill her need for thrills. Although, “off time” is a somewhat foreign term to this full time HSU student. With only one month left in her final semester PC is beginning to see the light at the end of the college tunnel, as well as a degree in Environmental Management and Protection. Not only is she a hard working, dedicated skater, but she also cares about the environment! Could she be any more PC?!

As if her schedule wasn’t busy enough, PC also pours a mean beer at The Local (one of our awesome sponsors). If you’re lucky you could have your beer poured by Humboldt Roller Derby’s very own Pressure Cooker. Somehow it tastes better when she pours it!

Pressure Cooker has the best attitude on and off the track. She’s the most encouraging teammate and friend. With a truly honest and sweet soul PC was a natural fit for coaching the Sapling’s. The girls love her, and she honestly cares about each and every one of them. Our training camp also benefits from her knowledge and dedication as a trainer.

I’m proud to be on the same team as this smiling, happy, kick-ass lady. I’m equally as happy to not have play on a team opposite of her! When I walk on that track and see PC next to me I feel more confident just knowing she’s by my side. Everyone that’s part of the HRD family has benefited in some way because of her true love and dedication to the sport and her team. Humboldt Roller Derby loves you Pressure Cooker! You will always be a special part of our family!!

Who brings Da Ruckus?????? Ruckus, that’s who!



photo by Amy Kumler

Ruckus started her skating career with Humboldt Roller Derby in January of 2009. Shortly after in 2010 she started a ruckus in our training camp, and has stuck with it, being one of our most dedicated level 2 trainers for four years now. After years of training, coaching came naturally to Ruckus. She started coaching in our 2013 season, and has stuck with it through this season. A series of unfortunate injuries has kept Ruck from fulfilling her career as a skater, but has given HRD the chance to take full advantage of her awesome coaching skills. We have been lucky to have her as a bench coach for most of our bouts last season as well as the beginning of this season. As a bench coach Ruckus started and mastered the infamous I’m pissed at that ref call hair flip with the hand. If you watch her closely at a bout you may be able to witness it in action!

Ruckus brings a different kind of attitude to the track t hat keeps things fun while still whoopin butt! She’s always smiling while telling us “y’all need ta get lower, skate faster, and/or hit harder…..know wut I’m sayin…..don’t be talkin, just do it”. I never know if she’s smiling because she’s so proud of us, or because finally she has a group of people that do exactly what she says when she say’s it. She says jump, we say how high….deep down inside she glows a little because of this fact.

While Ruckus’ coaching and skating style can be in your face/hustle like there’s no tomorrow, she has an extremely caring and somewhat delicate side to her. She has a super sweet bull mastiff named Rudy who actually gets sympathy pains. Yes, that’s right, every time Ruckus gets injured Rudy starts limping in pain. Then they heal at the same time, how adorable! Ruckus is also an extremely dedicated friend and teammate. When we’re rolling with Ruckus we know we got our backs covered! And I speak from experience when I say that she will literally slap the sense into you if need be, now that’s a good friend!!

On a more personal note, Ruckus has to be the BIGGEST Raider’s fan EVER! She knows more sports trivia than most people’s brothers, fathers, and grandfather’s combined. As a child she had dreams of Bobby Brown and Marvin Gaye, and still does on a good night. Your Ruckus bringin, Jordan sportin, Wu-Tang linstenin, Bobby luvin self is so loved and appreciated by everyone at HRD! Thanks for being you!

Skater of the Month…Sugar Rush!

 Our latest skater of the month, and our favorite treat this holiday season, is none other than Sugar Rush!
candy’s to describe her: Now and Later, War Heads, Sour Patch Kids, Jaw Breaker, Rolo, Red hots, Bazooka,…you get the idea.
One of our newer skaters, Sugar started playing with the Widow Makers just last season, quickly proving her athletic skills and ability Sugar ended Humboldt Roller Derby’s 2013 season as a blocker for our A team, the Redwood Rollers in their away bout in San Jose against Silicon Valley Roller Girls on September 28th.
Sugar Rush proves that she is also versatile, playing both jammer and blocker positions as needed by her team. Her quick advancement through teams can be credited in no small part to her perfect attendance! During our home season scrimmages Sugar can be seen jamming, running from blockers as if they were vegetables. She carries her athleticism off of the track where she trains in Aikido, as well as biking and running to maintain her high level of fitness. Like a sour-patch-kid, she is sour on the track and sweet inside, with a smile and positive words for all of her teammates. We don’t ever want to crash from this sugar rush!
As a member of our merchandise team, she helps with inventory and tracking, getting sweet new HRD gear out to fans.
Sugars’ partner Steve says that, “she spends her time applying her Aikido skills fighting off ninja attackers and baking cookies. I’ve even see her do both at the same time. Quite impressive, really.”  She also spends time scrap booking, reading, taking pictures, hanging with her animals, talking to inanimate objects while by her self, and watching Bones, the TV show.
If you see her, give her some candy or a cupcake to show your appreciation of someone so dedicated to HRD, and a truly valued member of our league.
Fascinating facts: You can call her Dr. Sugar Rush , she has a PhD in Psychology, and she hates condiments.

Skater of the Month, Snakes Anna Plane!


Slithering into our September skater of the month spot is… Snakes Anna Plane!
Snakes Anna Plane, number 747, started with Humboldt Roller Derby just over a year ago, quickly making her way through the ranks to secure a spot with our home team, HRD’s Widow Makers. Teammates take notice that she is a fast learner, and predict that she will be skating with our A team, the Redwood Rollers, in no time. Playing both blocker and jammer positions as needed, she has proven to be as flexible as her reptilian alter-ego. Snakes is a fearless skater, never afraid to try out new moves on the track, continuously leaving opposing players screaming, “Enough is enough! I have had it with these mother effin snakes on this mother effin plane!”-Snakes on a Plane, (New Line Cinema 2006). See her killer moves for yourself at our last home bout of the season, this Saturday, 9/14.

Teammates take notice of her dedication to improvement and say that she helps to keep them dedicated through her example. Always cool and collected, she is someone for new skaters to emulate and has proven how far you can come with the right amount of effort and dedication to the sport. Seeing how far she has come in just a year of skating leaves us in amazement thinking of how far she will go as a Derby skater. With a background in ice-skating, it’s no wonder she’s a natural on quad skates.

Off the track Snakes works as a graphic designer, volunteering her skills in our own PR committee, and as a founder of our new graphic design team. Snakes also works for Holly Yashi designing advertisements and catalogs for this popular local business. You can see some of her work yourself in much of our own program graphics and merchandise designs.

Fun Facts: Snakes loves adventure, but is ironically scared of snakes. She is a jack of all trades, from sailing to sewing she is skilled at a variety of things, but she is best known for her ability to make ridiculous faces in pictures.

Skater of the month, Olé Cholé!


Olé!Olé!Olé!Olé!Olé…Cholé! You know the song, and hundreds of fans sing along as Olé speeds around the track and jumps the apex! It doesn’t get more exciting than that. A true crowd pleaser, Olé is a fearless jammer with immense talent.

Olé Cholé first joined Humboldt Roller Derby at the end of last season. Her first bout with our league was against Sacred City, where she jammed for the Rollers. Olé says that she has been skating for 3 years now, and “taught myself how to skate by throwing on skates and skating everywhere- school with a backpack, to and from parties, errands shopping, everywhere. You learn quick on the streets with gallons of milk in each hand or a backpack full of school books! I even walked into my classes with my skates on… up and down stairs on campus and everything”. All that skating has clearly paid off, and anyone interested in skating could take a page from her book and practice whenever, and wherever possible.

This dedication to skating has helped her as one of our Saplings coaches, where she has helped girls jump and leap into becoming smart strong derby players, in one of the Saplings strongest seasons ever. Olé continues to bring her influence and inspiration to our boot-camp for beginning skaters this season.

Olé’s Derby wife, Ragin’ Reg of the Tsunami Sirens remembers, “The minute Cholé walked into NCRD practice, I knew she was something special”. Olé credits Reg for teaching her how to skate fast, which is now her ” superpower”. She also says that Sloppy Joe, Reg’s husband (who is on a top ten MRDA team), challenged her to try new things and taught her how to jump the apex. Olé remembers, “a year after skating on my own I was recruited to play with Redding, North Coast Roller Derby, Trinity Roller Derby, and Mendo’s 707 Co-Ed coalition. I wasn’t old enough to join HRD so I skated with the Sirens until I was 21 then transferred with their blessing”. With all these teams that would love to have her, we are lucky she has found a home with HRD.

All of this skill has not given this skater of the month a big head though, as skaters take notice that she always appreciates the help and input. “She asked questions, she tried things and repeated them over and over until she got them right and then she moved on to the next thing. And she still keeps doing that til this day”-Ragin’Reg. Reg also says that, “I predict Olé Cholé will be derby famous across the nation before we know it. She is young, coachable, energetic and a natural athlete. In addition to all that, she is the sweetest girl I have ever met. The entire world was blessed with her arrival……..not just the derby world!” … we couldn’t agree more.
One more time for Olé, sing it with us!, Olé!Olé!Olé!Olé!Olé…Cholé!

Fascinating fact: When not skating Olé can be found crafting, making jewelry and hula hoops, and collecting specimen from dead whales on the beach.


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