Skater of the Month – Rust E Machete

“Proud to skate with this master of badassery.”
-HRD

Please join us in congratulating RUST E MACHETE as our Skater of the Month!

Whether she’s wearing her derby cap and coaching, helping Level 1 and Level 2 skaters to find their derby legs, and being a star jammer who has the entire Franceschi Hall chanting her name, or being the Operations Manager at local Non-Profit Organization Food for People, Rust E Machete has jungles of love to give.

Her encouragement, tenacity and diehard dedication has won a spot in HRD’s heart.  Starting roller derby with HRD in September of 2009, Rust E Machete rapidly sliced her way to MVP – in her first bout!  Tireless practicing, even to the point of doing squats in her kitchen while lightly frying organic seitan patties, has launched this player into pro-level skating.  I personally look to Rust E for inspiration in life, not just roller derby.  Many a times it has crossed my mind, “WWREMD? – What would Rust E Machete Do?” when faced with challenges on or off the track.

Driving a forklift as though it is an extension of her body, Rust E manages the tracking and documenting of the 1.6 million pounds of food distributed each year to low income families and individuals through Food for People’s community programs.  Her passion for helping people in her local community and beyond inspires not just other skaters, but everyone around the world whose lives she’s touched.

In her free time, Rust E enjoys scaling local mountains in search of rare mushrooms, singing to her flowers in the garden, and frying ants with a magnifying glass.

We love you, Rust E Machete!

August’s Skater and Volunteers of the Month!

Everyone please join us in congratulating our August Skater of the Month, Scrappy Scrappy Joy Joy!!! <

Scrappy joined HRD’s boot camp in early 2011 and has been going strong ever since!  Her super hard-working ethic has made her an indispensible part of the league, having served as a skater liaison to the Board of Directors, a coach for the Saplings Junior Roller Derby League, a dedicated track cleaner, and the official 2012 HRD helmet glitter-er!  She has advanced so much in her skating abilities from when she first started and now is a proud rostered skater for the Widow Makers.  Usually enjoying a blocking position, Scrappy has been known to jam.   Her sneaky blacked-out raccoon eye face paint for the August bout helped her stealth movements around the track.  Scrappy is often seen skating outdoors at every opportunity:  skating to work and skating around McKinleyville and Arcata in her free time. 

Off the track, you can see Scrappy at work at the golf course in McKinleyville, Beau Pre.  Her husband of 11 years is supportive of her derby career, watching her at bouts and friends and family skating events, and he even listens to her talking about derby!  Scrappy has two children:  the 14-year-old girl Makenzi is a member of Humboldt’s own Saplings (look out for “Panda Ninja” on the track!) and Perrin, her 10-year-old boy, loves to golf and fish.  Scrappy is made of a very athletic cloth, having played various sports such as soccer and basketball in her past.  Her skills as a cheerleader and dancer (ballet, jazz, tap) have obviously yielded wonderful skating dexterity.

Her hilarious and infectious snort-laugh can be heard from the pro shop at Beau Pre echoing across the coastal valleys and Redwood Acres Fairgrounds and beyond.  We salute you, Scrappy, for being a great team player and your amazing energy.  Thank you for all you do!

Volunteers of the Month – Miles and Amos!
We at Humboldt Roller Derby value our volunteers.  Like, really value them.  This August we are featuring Miles and Amos for our Volunteers of the Month!  Give them a round of applause!

Miles and Amos have been around since our founding days in 2007, when HRD was faced with creating and structuring a roller derby league.  Non-skating officials were needed, and Miles and Amos fit the bill.  Both of these strapping lads are a couple of our penalty box timers, with Miles heading it up as the Penalty Box Manager – perhaps because he has never missed a home bout, ever.  The Manager has the burly task of timing the jammers, requiring Miles to be quick to think on his feet.  Amos is handed the job of timing the blockers in the box, timing multiple blockers at once.  Amos and Miles have single-handedly run the penalty box themselves, giving them even less time to watch the game from “the best seat in the house”.  This gets crazy when you consider that there could be as many as eight skaters assigned to the penalty box at any given time! 

The best seat in the house can also put you in the line of fire, however.  Miles and Amos have had their penalty table, chairs and time clocks launched high in the air upon the arrival of some over-zealous skaters sent to the penalty box, only to have the oftentimes pissed-off skater ask them why they got a penalty!  Remember, skaters, they are not allowed to talk to you unless to tell you when your time is up! 

Miles and Amos put in their time by coming to every single scrimmage, bout, meeting and league event they can possibly make it to, help out training new people, are loyal and dependable and represent our Officials staff very well.  We honor them as valued members of our team.  Thank you, Miles and Amos!!!

Have Derby, Will Travel by Elysian Wheels

Humboldt Roller Derby is a great league and we are lucky to be in a “thriving metropolis” like Eureka that allows us a good pool of women with whom to fill our rosters and our wonderful Board and volunteer positions.  However, there are many leagues that we share the majestic North West with who do not have this luxury, one of which is Trinity County Roller Derby.  

Comprised of just a handful of skaters they welcomed Ole Chole, myself and several other girls from Redding and Coos Bay to travel to Hayfork and play with them against Chico Roller Derby on July 7^th.  It was a relatively close game considering that most of the women on our team had never even met each other but Chico was able to take the lead in the last few jams and win the game with a solid defense.  

If you are a skater looking for some experience skating with lots of different leagues or a fan looking to catch as much roller derby action as possible I recommend you start by trolling Facebook for all the great leagues there are out there. Chances are if you are headed to Iowa to visit Aunt Lily you might be able to sneak away for a newbie practice or even be able to talk her into seeing a bout with you. Derby is everywhere, I even hear you can watch “merby” — man derby —  as close as Ukiah! 

E Wheels, Grrrl, Jule, Connie, Glory, Thunder and Poisin all share a cool drink after the Trinity game

Derby Summer’s First Skater & Volunteer of the Month!

Yep, you heard us right…we have so many fabulous skaters AND so many wonderful volunteers that we now can’t help but honor one of each every month!

First, a little shameless plug just to say that there are still a handful of tickets left for this Saturday’s bout – grab yours now while you still can!  The Widow Makers are taking on the Mendo Mayhem at 6:00, and the Redwood Rollers will be playing the San Diego Roller Derby Starlettes around 7:30.  We’ll be showing off some fresh new faces, so be sure to come support our brand new Widow Makers!  And of course, your favorite long-time pros.

Speaking of derby household names, we’d just love to congratulate Anya the Bunny Slayer as our July Skater of the Month!  An amazingly skilled, dedicated, and positive influence on all of her leaguemates since the very first HRD skate practice back in 2007, Anya doesn’t just skate – she also coaches, inspires, and wows everybody with her fabulous bout stats.  ”Anya has been a source of inspiration for us wirey, long-limbed, tall folks,” says fellow skater Vena Schnytzel.  ”Without a blink of her eye or a twitch of a rabbit’s whiskers, she can lay someone twice the size of her flat out!  Anya taught me that you don’t have to be big to be intimidating.  From the very beginning, Anya has always taken the time to show me drills and skills and has had the patience to explain them in a way both fresh meat and veterans can understand.”

For those not in the know, Anya’s name is a reference to a character from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  ”Anya is an outspoken vengeance demon terrified of bunnies,” says our own Anya of her namesake.  ”I didn’t know how to skate before derby.  I was never into sports or very athletic growing up so this is the first sport I have been committed to, or obsessed over.”  She loves dancing, playing video games, collecting records, and chocolate.  By night, she is quite the fabulous DJ, spinning “electro-disco-punk-hip-hop” (say that 10 times fast!) whenever and wherever she can, including at this season’s HRD after-parties.

Another long-time face of HRD that you’ll probably recognize is our announcer (and Amazing Derby Dog) Jason & Shadow, both of whom we’d like to honor as our July Volunteers of the Month!  Jason has been the life of the party, making Humboldt Roller Derby bouts 10 times more exciting and easier to follow – with Shadow entertaining fans during half-times – since our very first bout.  Vena Schnytzel remembers meeting Jason back when she first started skating:  ”I was first introduced to Jason when I was at STIL to purchase my first pair of skates and first lineup of protective gear.  That man gave me the Cadillac of sales pitches for my skates and gear, was super attentive without being intrusive, and I walked away happy I had made my purchase there…only to find out a month later that he actually does ALL of the announcing for HRD’s bouts played at home!

“Most announcers plop down at a table with a microphone, plenty of refreshments, and plenty of cheat sheets to look at to fill in awkward amplified moments.  No.  Not Jason.  This fu manchu-adorned announcer can be seen with just a small piece of paper, a mic and doing laps RUNNING around the track before bouts and during half-time, keeping the audience engaged, excited, and pumped to see roller derby!  Sometimes I think Jason gets more exercise being an announcer than the players!”

Thanks to both Anya and Jason, for all that you do for HRD!  You are part of what makes derby fun, exciting, and something skaters and fans all love being a part of.

June Bout & Skater of the Month!

Hey HRD fans!  Our next bout is coming up THIS Saturday the 16th, and there are only a handful of tickets left – be sure to get yours online, at The Works in Eureka, or People’s Records in Arcata, before they’re all gone!  We’ll be taking on two teams from the Sac City Rollers and it’s sure to be an exciting double header.

We’d also like to honor another amazing skater this month, the fabulous and Ferocious Dimples, #4Life!  Described by her teammates as “super bubbly, awesome at every position, positive, fun, and dedicated,” the list goes on and on.  This girl is loved by skaters and fans alike.

When Dimples first started with HRD, she says she had no idea what the rules were or how the game was played – looking back, she calls herself “awkward but relentless.”  But she is now hailed as one of our most loved and admired skaters, trainers, and team captains - both at home and at away games and tournaments.  Her improvement over the years has been inspiring to her leaguemates and her positive attitude is contagious.  “A little dedication and a lot of hard work always pays off in the derby world!” she says.

Fellow skater Schwilly Nelson (who you may remember from May SOTM fame!) compliments Dimples for “taking on more leadership roles with the league from PR to training nubes to co-captaining the home team.  She has a super positive game attitude and is up for playing whatever, whenever.  She even ended up jamming in a game against Jet City at WWS [the Wild West Showdown] after a skater was injured!  And those girls were intimidating!”

Off-skates, Dimples is quite the amazing chef and caters festivals like the Summer Arts Fest and Reggae on the River.  She’s also a pool shark (Schwilly says she has to cheat when she plays her and still loses!)  She loves kitties and has a special one at home named Coconut.

We love you Ferocious Dimples, for all of the ferociousness you devote to HRD!

Congrats to our May Skater of the Month!

Spring has sprung, and Humboldt’s derby season is heating back up too!  We didn’t have any bouts in April, but both of our teams will be traveling to Eugene, Oregon this month to take on the Emerald City Roller Girls.  They were a pretty tough set of teams when we played them at home last year, so wish us luck!

This month we’re also excited to honor one of our wonderful teammates, Schwilly Nelson, as our May Skater of the Month!  Schwilly is adored by her fellow skaters who voted her “Best Triple Threat” (jammer, pivot, and blocker combo) at the end of last season.  She’s taken on the role of Widow Makers team captain this year and is always positive, respectful, and supportive of all skaters, from the newest newbies to the long-time veterans.

Fellow skater Ferocious Dimples has nothing but fantastic things to say about her teammate:

Schwilly Nelson will be the first to admit that when she started skating with HRD she was not the most coordinated or outstanding skater, but she has used to her dedication and hard work to build up the skills to become an amazing derby player. In her first season skating for HRD she picked up the award for most improved player, and it was obvious why. In Schwilly’s second season with HRD she won the award for triple threat because of her outstanding skills as a jammer, defensive, and offensive player. There aren’t too many players that are willing to play every position, let alone excel at them, and Schwilly can definitely do it all!

There is one thing Schwilly Nelson has brought to the track from the first day she started, and that’s a great attitude with a smile on top. Not to mention her amazing endurance. She is the kind of player that others can look to for advice or help on and off the track. She’s a great teacher and guide to the newer skaters, and always has a positive outlook on any situation. She’s been a great leader as captain of the Widow Makers, as well as a dependable skater on the Redwood Rollers. Schwilly is always someone I love to see skating next to me because I know she has my back!

This is the beginning of Schwilly’s third season and I think we’re going to see some amazing things from her because she just keeps getting better and better. She’s been playing for both the Widow Makers and the Rollers, and has been an asset to both teams. I think I can speak for HRD when I say “Schwilly nelson, we love you! Thanks for being such a great person and an amazing teammate!”

April Skater of the Month!

When we read over all the nominations for this month’s “SOTM,” we found a whole pile of compliments for one fabulous lady:  Jule Injection!  Jules is what we like to call a “triple threat,” or an amazing jammer, pivot, and blocker.  Not only is she great out on the track, but she’s an inspiring leader.  As one of our Redwood Rollers team captains, her fellow skaters say “she get her serious pants on, but still smiles.”  She’s a blast to be around and has a natural talent for keeping everybody motivated, on-task, and at their very best.

Jules is the Grand Poo-Bah, says fellow skater Vena Schnytzel (who you might remember as last month’s SOTM) – “a founding member and president of the Ankle Breaker’s Club and welcomes all with open arms!  She is a smart player with a spitfire personality, so look out for her on the track – don’t ever turn your back or you’ll be flat on yours!”  Another favorite tidbit:  her favorite things to eat are the white sticks out of Fun Dip packages.

This girl has been on skates since she was four years old!  ”My dad used to take me all over Santa Cruz and sometimes to Golden Gate Park in San Francisco to skate,” she says, “which is probably why I love street skating so much.”  She also spent her fair share of time at the roller rink.  ”It was the ’70s, early ’80s, a time period that was both gross and awesome.   Skating was the thing to do, and for me, it still is.  I plan on skating until I’m super old.”  Which is awesome because she says her teammates already call her Grandpa.

Jules says she’s just a simple gal – she loves coffee, airstream trailers, all animals (she’s especially into horses right now), whistling, horror movies, and cheese.  ”I also enjoy loud music and cussing when appropriate,” she adds.  And in case you couldn’t tell by her super awesome program photo over there…her mom is her hero.

Thanks Jule, for being such a rad captain, skater, and person in general.  We love you!